Holding Myself Accountable

I was recently invited to do the Disney Princess Half Marathon. I thought hard about it and decided if there was a time in my life I would ever get my healthy lifestyle started, this would be it. I got my Mom on board and we were going to join the others. A non-refundable rather steep sign up fee, a trip to Disney, and a goal. I thought I was in. Well, long story short, we decided that might have been too ambitious for us and I pulled the plug right before checkout online to sign up. Let’s be realistic here. I don’t run. Well not unless I’m being chased or I’m chasing a cheeseburger. I’m just not a runner. But all the sudden I think I can pick up on a 12 week out training schedule and be ready to run 13.1 miles at the end of it? So we aren’t doing the half marathon (thank you Katie so much for the invite though!) but it has lit a fire under my big butt. Every year I have an empty resolution to get in shape. Well this year, it’s going to happen. I’m 25 years old, no kids, all the resources available to me, I should be in the best shape of my life. Instead I’m embarrassed of the way I look, my fat clothes are now my tight clothes, and I am ready for a change. For real.

So what is my plan?

For starters, I went grocery shopping for the first time since I moved out in July. Super sad, I know. I’ve been to the store for food since then, but it was stops here and there to pickup 5 frozen pizzas and a jug of sweet tea. Oh and don’t forget the ice cream. Terrible, I know. No wonder my clothes are shrinking! So I finally made a list. A real list with healthy stuff on it. I even had pizzas on the list from what I added a week ago, and I scratched it off and didn’t buy it. I was proud of myself. So I spent a good chunk of money but I now have a fridge and pantry full of healthy foods. Before, my fridge had a 24 pk of coke, some lemonade, a jug of sweet tea, salad dressings, hot sauce, and those Reese’s I still haven’t eaten from my birthday. In other words, NO FOOD. Just junk.

Here’s what was in my cart last night.

When I got home I had to make brownies for a work function today. I typically go a little light on the bowl scraping so I can lick the contents, but I scraped that sucker clean with a rubber spatula and didn’t even lick my finger! It’s the little things that will help me on the path to self control :)

And this morning I woke up and made a parfait of plain vanilla yogurt, sliced strawberries, and granola. It was really good!
Oh and I brought a banana for if I get snacky. I typically don’t eat breakfast, I starve til lunch, pig out at lunch and starve til dinner when I eat about 10:30 and go to bed. Horrible, awful, bad for me, I know. I KNOW.

But , I see a change in the way I’m thinking.

I’m tired.

Tired of being fluffy. Tired of squeezing into uncomfortable clothes. Tired of being jealous of someone who is in shape. Tired of being embarrassed in a bathing suit.Tired of feeling like I’m neglecting my body and making my heart work overtime to keep up with what I put in my mouth, doesn’t it have an important enough job already?

So let this be a public statement. That I am on a mission. Not a diet, but as my Dad has always said, diets don’t work, you must make a lifestyle change. And that is what I’m trying to do. I will still eat what I want when I want. And I may have a bad week, or two. But it’s a start. A start to making better decisions.

I want to walk Remi more. Run up and down my street. Do something that I feel good about.
I wanna be happy and confident in myself and feel great about the way I look. It’s time, I’ve been saying it too long!

Wish me luck! :)